God is not silent. He gives hope right when I think there is none.
When the murkiness of my own mind begins to cloud everything He's proven to be true, He takes His words and wipes some of the dirt from my window so I can begin to see clearly that there's light outside, not a world of cobwebs where I live as a shadow.
He holds my hand when I come to Him needy, and lets me rant and rave about everything that doesn't matter. He gently places me on the ground and stands up to show me just how big He is and how small I am.
I am nothing.
He is Lord.
And then, in His majesty, He kneels down to me again, a child, and yet seeks after me to cleanse my heart of the impure motives in coming to Him.
Oh, Ellen, you want something from me? You want an answer, a distinct sign? You desire some tangible product from my bounty, so you come to me with this worshipful facade and expect me to be fooled and find you good enough to give a reward to?
Such a fool. Do you, child, still not understand who I am? Do you not understand grace? You live your life as though you need answers to survive, when really, every question has been answered for eternity through my salvation.
So I sit at the feet of this Great God as a child, humbled and in need of nothing but Him.
I find myself here now. Holding out hope in His Word, that He will speak to me through it. Through prayer, I will simply know my Jesus better, as a relationship that is grown and nurtured through intentional time spent with each other. That blind trust in Him will become more of a reality and I will accept that I don't need answers, I just need Jesus.
