I think I've been told too many times to just "wait on God." He'll fix me if I just wait on His plan, and eventually everything will fall into place. But in the mean time, there's this gap left wide open while I'm actually doing the waiting, and evil is very busy.
And I do it all the time, but mostly as a reason to put off things that are scary or uncomfortable; if I just wait this one out, life will be a lot better eventually. Because God obviously does not want me to be uncomfortable. Sitting around doing nothing, cowering down and expecting trials to just blow over, is definitely what the Lord intended me to learn from all this...
I love the water. I love the ocean, the sea stories my Navy family would always tell, the movies about old adventures on the ocean; pretty much anything dealing with the water makes me feel right at home and happy. So when I read this section of today's devo by Oswald Chambers, I understood it and starting examining stuff:
"If you yourself do not cut the lines that tie you to the dock, God will have to use a storm to sever them and to send you out to sea. Put everything in your life afloat upon God, going out to sea on the great swelling tide of His purpose, and your eyes will be opened. If you believe in Jesus, you are not to spend all your time in the calm waters just inside the harbor, full of joy, but always tied to the dock. You have to get out past the harbor into the great depths of God, and begin to know things for yourself - begin to have spiritual discernment."
And do you know why this is cool? No, not because my boss walked by this morning and saw "Utmost" lying on my desk and looked at me weird. Though that did happen. And he asked about my tattoo yesterday and said he wants to hear the story behind it. Praying for him. Anyway. Here's the message I got out of it: quit being a coward. Quit using the excuse that you feel a certain way (lost, hurt, angry, etc) to hinder whatever God's calling you to do, b/c waiting for one emotional trial to pass is a sure way of inviting another one to take its place, and before you know it, you've wasted time. And our God is fearless, so seriously, what makes me think that I was intended to be someone who waits? Use your story for the Lord. Use your life for the Lord. Accept that the future is the future and today, you are a living and breathing instrument for Christ with nothing to wait for. Nothing.
Ellen: If God wants you to be a missionary, then for now, He has you in SNVC and you are being used there, and the IMB will get around to you when God wants them to. So quit putting off mission opps at your office waiting for the IMB. Or quit putting off opps to meet up and love on students waiting for something international. Maybe the desire you have to go overseas is something the devil is using to hinder what God can do through you right here and now because you are so distracted by the WAIT. You're not paralyzed or frozen into a meaningless existance until the IMB gets back to you a few months from now.
Ellen: So you're moving to Manassas - great - but you have roommates in Arlington who are really hurting and need a friend. So what are you doing about them in the meantime? You haven't even been home before 11pm the past few days, and they need Jesus now. You are still living in Arlington for a reason; quit WAITING for things to get better when you move to Manassas because right now, your roommates still don't know Jesus.
Ellen: If God has given you a testimony, then use it and don't wait around for certain things to sting a little bit less than they do now. Get over yourself. If there's a time to be vulnerable, trust God with that time but don't wait it out. Someone may need to hear it. If you're learning how to swim in tumultuous waters, don't you think there's someone else who needs those same swimming lessons? Seriously, get over yourself and just obey.
Ellen: If God wants you to be single, then live life as a single girl for Him and quit waiting for something better to happen because a relationship with Jesus is not a means to an end. God didn't call you to Himself to hinder work He has cut out for you by marriage to the wrong person. If you are with someone, it will be a man who enables your ministry to happen in a more powerful way than you could accomplish on your own. So QUIT WAITING and just move towards Christ; RUN after Christ and if you don't collide with someone else, Jesus is all you need.
Jesus is worth the storms, He's worth all the feelings that leave you feeling low, and He's worth obeying, even if its a terrifying call or something that leaves you feeling vulnerable, open, and easily targeted. Scared. Jesus is worth it.
So Ellen, quit waiting.
